Earlier this week, Google announced what it is calling a "breakthrough conversational technology": a language model along the lines of Open AI's GPT-3 that "can engage in a free-flowing way about a seemingly endless number of topics, an ability we think could unlock more natural ways of interacting with technology." This claim is framed with a weird and patronizing description of what "language" is, as though we needed a team of computer scientists to break it down for us: "Language is remarkably nuanced and adaptable.